Kinship conclusion

4. Conclude your post from your own perspective. (20 pts)

 Do you know the relatives on both your mother and father’s side of the family well?

I know a lot more relatives on my moms side of my family than on my dads. The grandparents on my mothers side lived longer into my life so I was able to meet older generations. Also, my aunt traced back family history, so we know more about her side of the family as far as lineage.
I will probably go back and do this with my father also through because it would be interesting to see what he knows and doesn't know about his family. He does not easily share information unless directly asked so I don't know much about his side of the family, and what I do know I obtained in pieces.

 Do you socialize equally with them? Why or why not?
Any remaining members of my fathers family live in Colorado, so I do not socialize with them very often, only through facebook occasionally. It is with my family members that my mom does get along with and those that live in our area that we have family dinners and get togethers with, so we know each other better in person. However, I am closer in age and feel more comfortable interacting with one of my male cousins out in Colorado, since my cousins on my moms side are younger than me.

 Which members of your family have the most influence in decisions made in the family? Explore why this is the case.  Are their different attitudes towards family members based upon gender? Describe.

In my mothers case, it is the females that definitely run the show. The main coordination happens between my mom, grandma, and aunt as far as when everybody will get together and how things will happen. It's interesting to note also that I'm included in this communication since I live apart from them and have my son. The males seem to get communicated with by word of mouth mostly. Since my parents are divorced and have been since I was little, there is a huge difference in the gender attitudes in my family. My fathers side is not male oriented, but is more individualistic. Since he does not have many remaining family members (only 2 half brothers and some nieces and nephews), everybody stands alone in their communication with the other members of the family and whether they keep in touch.
As far as the decisions made in my own "family" consisting of myself and my son, I consult both of my parents equally but for different matters and understanding their different attitudes, so they both greatly contribute to my decisions more than my siblings or grandparents.

 Are family members who marry into the family treated differently than members born into the family?

The females in my moms side of the family are not accepted the same way as the ones that are born into the family. I kind of understand it, because growing up with a brother I understand that the girlfriends he was with were not permanent.  However, they are included as much as possible and come to think of it, it seems to be the females that still communicate with each other even if it is the male that is born into the family. So there is still a connection between the females, just not to same degree.



 What insights have you learned about your family through this exercise?
It was interesting to learn about my moms pattern of interaction with her family.  I guess you can tell who was most important to a person because they will remember the most and elaborate more on the certain parts of their family. I did learn more about her dads side of the family than I already knew. Since it is her mothers side that I mostly had interactions with growing up, I got to hear offhand about different parts of her family. With her fathers side, especially since he spent a lot of the last 10 years before he died unable to communicate because of strokes, it was new information for me. It was more of something that I wrote down on paper than I was able to associate a face or a person to with her dads side.
And I already knew that her side of the family was female-centered, I just didn't know it extended to her cousins and grandparents also.